79. Choking on your drink

A sudden noise disrupts the quietness of the office. Its loud and it gave absolutely no warning. The coughing gets louder and louder, and the victim is struggling. What do you do? It can happen anywhere: at a party, at work, at home, while jogging, and even while driving. It can sometimes be very dangerous. But more importantly, it is awkward. The situation gets even more awkward if accompanied by several factors.

1.) People Are Still Laughing– The blame usually goes to that ONE person that made you laugh so hard that you started to choke on your Sprite. If you look carefully, you’ll see their facial expression start off with a “Oh man this is so hilarious! I even made you choke!” laughter and then slowly begin to quiet down and be replaced by that slightly worried look after all of the evil stares they have received from other people for laughing while someone’s choking. That’s just wrong.

2.) Finding A Place To Put Your Drink Down- After possibly spilling some expensive 7-dollar beer, you want to be able to find some place to put it down. However, this becomes difficult since you’re probably still letting the coughing shake your arm around. Sometimes you find that awesome friend that holds it while you finish coughing. That’s awesome, considering you might be having a hard time looking for a good spot, which brings me to the next item:

3.) Teary Eyes- A side effect of choking for certain people. When people are trying to choke in silence, you can sometimes spot them by a “I just pooped my pants” look combined with TEARY EYES. Look for the eyes, people. Look for the eyes.

4.) Making A Scene- People staring at you, and wondering what is up with you can be quite an awkward experience. So its best to try to not make a scene. Even though you interrupted the moment. And ended the conversation. And made the group laughter stop —yes, you made a scene. Nobody wants to be “That Guy”, right?

5.) The “Are You O.K.?” Guy- You always have that ONE person that can watch another fall off a two story building and still approach them with that very question. “No, darn it! I just fell off a building!” When they ask you if you are “O.K.” while choking on your drink, how the heck are you supposed to answer when you are having trouble breathing? Jeez. . .

In your opinion, which one of these is the most awkward to deal with?

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